Hebrews 11:1
Published on June 20, 2004 By Jakeus In Welcome
And mad heart burns cold in mountain breeze. The tops of every peak lower inhibitions and expectations. The drowning moan of too much air in lungs. They whisper in fear and hope. The words in eyes of muscle, and torn repair falls aloud to scream in nothing. The all of nothing in end of beginnings. I cry again without tears, without substance or need but faith. In time their should but be solace. When the caps of borrow steal me. I top the pain and anguish with bitter and faith. There wont be other times that the numbness holds these fingers in such a way. That when words pour and spill over non-evident lines. Where I hide my fire in the sizzle of volcanic vents in oceanic depths. So ever in promise of soul and my crutch of the wicked legs I hide. My first of many to come. Submitted and submissive to no one, single, individual, alone.
Mad of heart I pace and push. Not mad of anger but as mad of potential. I'm full of tense and cringe. Less of ease and slow. The kill of soul as I slow in my young elderness. I choose the path of the mountain to cool my needs to be. I billow, toss and turn facing wind and snow. My naughty needs are selfish as if I never knew. The exhale of my skin and voices of all gone to the past. All promised goodbyes. All visited before leaving to the great 6 beyond.
When the caps of his knees hit my anguish and pain. I knew wrong though felt fear to admit. He stole me as a child. I read his eyes through mine clenched so tight & shut out. When they started passing over my head I cried and locked ventricles avoiding supply. So many friends, so much family. So much secret, so much metal and flower, granit and soil.
To this day I can never explain without the rumble of mumbling. I was promised a soul saved from wickedness but was cast wicked when young for impurity before marriage. For being raped and having been let so by him. They said he was my protector. I gave and believed. Shed my heart before the cross.
To fall back to my knees when given away....I stand tall. When I'm fallen, my eyes face up. Faith has me undone.
Faith is my shortcoming in a long line of underestimated strengths. I push past fake belief. I believe now but in better view than the book. Shiney Polish wont care for you or what lies in your hands. They are dirty with a faith you have made, in order to fear others into your hope. My love is in him..... Because it was given to, and in me, by him. Your petty words and fears are blasfemy to what God created...All. I am a piece of his heart and I accept you as such as well. I feel loved, and am. You're naive to think nothing is behind my heart.
I have fallen and risen, cried, and in many ways died. Been raped as a child, been litterally stabbed. Attacked by animals, survived Spinal menengitis. Yet I live. Lost 7 people in one year 2 were family. I still persue to believe. Dont tell me I'm less in the heart of him than you because of my sin. When still yet down I rise and look to his eyes in belief.
--Eternal End--

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